The IDEAL response in TBRI® gives us some pretty simple skills in how to respond to children when they are in crisis or need your attention. The ‘I’ in IDEAL is for Immediate, which means that we try and acknowledge a kid who is "having a moment" within three seconds. The longer we delay responding to a situation that needs our attention, the more likely that a) the situation will intensify and b) the harder it will be for them to make the connection between what they may have done wrong and the conversation you are now having about it. Use each opportunity that you have to respond quickly and let your child know that you are listening and that you are present.Â
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‘Immediate’ also is important when returning from being apart from your children. When we come home from work or extended time away, we are often exhausted from managing competing priorities. Our kids almost always have more energy than we do. They want to play, show you the new character they spawned on Roblox, or tell you a story from their day. While the inclination to multi-task is real, research shows that if we attend to our kids immediately for even a short period of time(5-10 minutes), they feel more regulated and soothed. Ultimately, this sets the stage for parents to take time to themselves and everyone's cups are filled.
