Everyday TBRI® The 'D' in IDEAL Response

The dog days of summer have arrived, and I've come out of summer hibernation feeling ready to return to the land of blogging! We hope that all of you have had a wonderful summer filled with fun and quality time. We'll talk a little next week about the transition back to school, complete with tips and tricks!

But first, after ‘Immediate’, the next stage of the IDEAL® Response is ‘Direct’. This means that when we are engaging with our kids, especially when having hard conversations, that we are:

1) On the same eye level (not hovering over....that's scary)

2) Making soft eye contact

3) Close in proximity

4) Making a physical connection, when possible

This might seem like a common sense approach to parenting. I want you to ask yourself “Self, if am being really, truly and genuinely honest, how often am a finding myself disconnecting when having challenging conversations with my kids?”

How much easier is it to scold standing up while your child is sitting, eyes averted from you? Are you a counter-talker? You know what I mean…you locate a counter or table, you stand on one side and your child sits on the other. Or do you handle tough talks over a phone call or text? Or while checking your phone? Chances are that you have found yourself doing one or more of these things, and THAT’S OKAY. Part of parenting from a secure place is recognizing when we can do better. As hard as it is to be 'Direct', focus on these four steps during your next "talk" with your kids. See if it feels differently in how you connect, how consequences are received, and how your relationship grows as a result.