Okay, Boomer: Everyday TBRI® The 'A' in IDEAL Response

After ‘Efficient’, the next stage of the IDEAL® Response is ‘Action-Based’. This is easily the most fun and playful part of having to correct behavior. At this point, we all know we don’t go after a gnat with an elephant gun (Efficiency, right?). We meet kids playfully, which builds trust and helps your kids know what to expect from you next time.

So, why not be proactive? If there’s something that one of your kiddos struggles with, like getting dressed for school in the morning, accepting no, or getting homework done on time, it’s best to practice handling these situations when children aren’t escalated. The purpose of this is to create “muscle memory” for a task when everyone is in a good place. That way, it’s more easily recalled when folks hop on the struggle bus. No judgement from this writer...we all take a ride sometimes.

Our favorite Action-Based response, and in honor of the late, great Dr. Karyn Purvis: “Whoa Cowboy/Cowgirl! Want to try that again?” followed by a redo is the gold standard. For younger children, have them practice responding appropriately and “act out” scenarios with puppets or stuffed animals. Make it silly.

Action-Based works for tweens and teens, too, Bruh. If you have kids in this age group, let me speak your language. Us boomers are already mid, so lean in. Recognize your kid's rizz even in moments of tension. A softened response from a parent saying “Hey there, I’m on your side” keeps everyone vibing. We can attest that this approach is bussin with kids of all ages, and that goes for partners as well. Slay!